Somewhere along the line I lost control, I gave up and I decided that having a roll over my underwear was acceptable.
This is probably the most humiliating thing I've ever done but perhaps I need it for that ultimate reality check. This can't go on.
I'm making changes, regaining control, remembering, slowly. My body actually accepts this fairly easily, it remembers how it felt before and knows that this is second nature, and I'm grateful that it won't fight me too hard, at least for the first little while, and by the time it does, I will have the convictions and the strength to win.
I shudder when I see these, they make me want to get up out of bed at 1:15 am and run laps around the village, alas there are alarms on the doors here that beep every time they are opened, and they would rat me out.
These are the photos from Day 1.
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