Fluctuat Nec Mergitur

    Best Latin Phrase Ever.

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Slacking has consequences.

I'm up to 215.

I stopped writing down what I was eating and started skipping workouts. I weigh more now than I have in 3 years. Fuck.

Back to the gym and back to eating properly as of this morning.

The good news is that it only took 3 weeks to put on that weight so I should be able to get it back off just as fast.

Ugh.

I should be sleeping, but...

Ok, shit hit the fan this week.

I finally got so fed up with my trainer that I switched to a different gym within the same company so that I could switch trainers without anyone getting mad. I also saw a nutritionist.

I really like my new trainer a lot, he totally kicked my ass. I was sore for the first time in weeks. He said that I clearly have a good base, but that my trainer had no idea what she was doing and now my posture for my workouts is kind of fucked up.

So the new plan is this:

2x a week w/ trainer. Lots of compound exercises and non-machine / free weight stuff. 1x of weights on my own, that will be mostly machines so I can't fuck up form.
4x a week of 25 - 45 minutes of cardio, interval training w/ the podrunner series

Nutritionally speaking, I'm still really fucked. I either restrict like crazy or blow off any control and it's really hard to find a happy medium. And my blender broke. How the fuck am I supposed to choke down this protein powder when I can't blend it with anything? Ugh.

Today:

11:00
Protein Powder + Milk
Strawberries
12:00
Coffee with Baileys x 1
Coffee Cake
3:00
1/2 Banana
Piece of cheese
5:00
Stuffed Pork Chop
1/2 cup brown rice
1 cup stirfry veggies
coffee cake
9:00
2 pieces banana bread w/ butter
10:00
4 mini aero bars


Moral of the story? Too much carbs not enough protein, and just generally a bad food day. Lets never speak of it again.

Clearly I'm not on track for new workout treat this week so unless I'm REALLY good until Friday I'm just going to be dealing with no present this pay period.

No apologies or excuses - Day 34

I have been slacking. I missed my workout on Tuesday with my trainer but I did go in and have a really solid workout on my own and did nearly as much as I would have with her. I found I had to up some of my weights again, which is good, and wasn't dying halfway through sets the way I was a month ago, which is another positive which as made me think that I should be doing a positive and negative check-in.

 

First some updates:

• Finally got a protein powder and am trying to work it into my 'breakfast.' It is Iso-Gold which apparently is highest protein for lowest calories and no artificial sweeteners (it is sweetened with stevia instead of aspartame)
  
• I've lost my mp3 player - again. I hate working out without one.
  
• I'm finally starting to get caught up at work.
  

Cons & Negative stuff going on lately

• I am not eating what I'm supposed to be eating. I have a fucked up relationship with food. I know this, and it's a huge problem for me. The earlier I start eating in a day, the hungrier I am. The protein powder seems to be helping with this but I'll have to stick with the shakes a little longer to see if it helps overall.
  
• I was really counting calories like a maniac for a while and then I suddenly stopped. It makes me feel really out of control to not count. I know that if I'm eating 2/3 of a plate of vegetables and 1/3 of a plate of protein and then a small side of whole grains it is really hard to eat a crazy amount of calories but if I don't keep track of everything I tend to eat a lot of garbage, which brings me to my next point.
  
• I've been eating a lot of garbage. I have been exhausted for days and when I'm tired my willpower is absolute crap. This means that if I want chocolate, chocolate it is. I have to figure out how to control this craving = eating what I want thing. I don't know how to do it. I better figure it out quick.
  
• I haven't been doing as much cardio as I should. I was doing too much. I was doing 1200 calories worth of cardio 3 + days a week. My trainer gave me hell when I told her I was doing an hour of cardio (which was a gross understatement of the facts) and ranted about needing the energy for my time with her so I started doing less, but less slip slid down to almost none. I need to do more cardio.
  
• I've missed my Tuesday appointment with my trainer two weeks running. Both times I have worked out on my own but I don't know if it's the same.
  
• I don't feel like I'm getting anything out of my workout. I am pushing and I'm working hard when I'm there but I don't feel it after. I don't get it. I like the ache afterwards, it makes me feel like I've done something... feeling nothing leaves me wondering if I accomplished anything.
  
• My trainer does not push me when I want to give up on stuff
  

Pros & Positivies

• My trainer has been upping my weights and I didn't notice
  
• I'm not thinking I'm going to die halfway through sets
  
• I'm starting to see my arms look a little better which is nice.
  
• I'm starting to realize that I have a totally skewed and un-objective view of my goals and how my body should be reacting to things
  
• I'm giving up processed food for Lent. This, in and of itself, solves a lot of my eating garbage problems. Whole foods are a lot harder to fuck up on and 40 days is long enough to make a positive change.
  

 

Goals through to March 5

1. No more processed food
   
2. 4 days of proper cardio
   
   1. 60 minutes total cardio
      
   2. > 15 minutes on the cross trainer combo
      
   3. Treadmill time must be done at > 4.5 mph and > 3.0% incline
      
3. Fit in my "no-trainer" workout x 2
   
   1. Lower body on Saturday
      
   2. Upper body on Monday
      

If I meet these goals I'm buying new gym shoes on the 13th.

 

Feedback, as always, is GREATLY appreciated.

I've seen better days --- Day 26

It's funny how quickly 30 days will creep up on you. It is starting to feel like 30 days wasted but I know that it's not. Any improvement is better than staying the same I suppose. I don't have a scale here so I don't know where I'm at and that is one of the most frustrating things I've ever experienced. I used to have a digital scale that I loved because so long as I could see it go down, even an ounce a day, I knew I was on the right track.

Anyhow, enough whining.

Yesterday:

3 cups coffee w/ milk & sweetener
3 Hershey's kisses
4 jujubes

2 Babybel cheese
1/2 glass of blueberry pomegranate juice

Yogurt smoothie made of:
1 cup frozen peaches
1 cup 1.5% milk fat yogurt
1/3 cup mango orange juice

1/2 glass of blueberry pomegranate juice
-----------------------------------------
777 Calories

Gym Time:

20 min eliptical - 200 cal
1 hr weight training (legs & abs) 450 cal
15 min treadmill - 150 cal

-----------------------------------------
800 Calories

Net Cal = (-23)

Sweet.

One more thing...

The scale in the change room is wrong. Dead wrong.

I was only down 2.5 lbs. I need a scale. One of my own so that I know it's right. I can't deal with thinking I'm down 10 and then only being down 25% of that. Ugh.